if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
