hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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