So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
