____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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