man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
You smell like stripper and shame
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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