so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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