so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize