this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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