let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
