I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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