dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
