i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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