Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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