after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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