are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
