I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
