All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
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