Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
