My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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