I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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