Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
