Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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