Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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