I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize