Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
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