hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
