its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Randomize
