Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
