i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
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Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
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I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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