finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
