no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
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