Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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