some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
