Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
