Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
