next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
