I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize