Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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