Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
