Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize
