By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
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