East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
please don't ironically join a cult
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