haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
