youre lurking in front of me
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
