So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
