i think i have herpe
just one?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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