well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I wish i was in the wii world.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
