When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
