covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Its about making memories worth repressing
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
