you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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