she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize