is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
