I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
