good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
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