I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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