Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
