She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Semen is not good for contacts.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
