Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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