The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
