omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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