I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
