let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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