I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
